The uphill battle of personal health and fitness

I’ve come to learn so much in my 30’s about being more self aware. I often think I know myself better than others until others tell you the what for. My wife and I go back and forth about the amount of money we’ve spent on my own dieting and exercise. She isn’t wrong. There I said it! She knows me so well and I can admit it. Even though I hate that she’s right.
As of late I have gained majority of my weight back that I have lost in the past 3-ish years. I recently lost 10lbs and have got it back on. I want to blame stress but I really can’t, my wife has stress and looks amazing, sexy, fit, and is an inspiration to me.
Anyone on TikTok? I am mostly for the funny animal videos or musician clips. But there are a few videos where a man or woman are fighting the temptation to skip a workout as they lie in bed contemplating if they should go or stay. Then they jump up and say, “I better go because my spouse is hott!” That’s me!
All joking aside; it’s true. I have a deep down fear that I could lose my wife’s attention or attraction to me because of my weight gain. This is seriously my biggest fear.
I started this draft a couple weeks ago, I’m not coming back to update and share that I have got back on with Optavia for my 4th time. It’s truly the only health food and plan I tend to stick to and lose weight.
3 weeks in I’m down 11lbs. it’s been actually harder than before. I often feel starving and feeling as if I’m shedding the pounds right off. But no, I’m finding that I’m losing some inches and not the weight. That’s ok, it is working and paying off slowly. I’ve been maintaining at 240lbs. I’m dropping a pound then gaining a pound. That’s quite frustrating, something I’ve also learned is being constipated is a contributing factor to no weight loss. Gross I know but it’s life.
Side news: I’ve put more focus on my Instagram page so if you’d like to join me there I’d appreciate it!

I’m hoping to get better with my health and blog. I hope to encourage others with my own life, choices l, and even my mistakes.
Thank you for reading. I’ll be back with more details on this journey soon!